Happy Bloody Valentine's Day

Two blog entries in a day ?? CAN THIS BE HAPPENING? Well, our dear readers, its ur lucky day and boy have we got a treat for u. Earlier on we wrote about our love towards food and how we express this love through songs. Now we got inspired and we want to write about the best day of the year. The day of love. February 14th. VALENTINE'S DAY!

So FUCK. Every year ur kinda thinking that "ok valentines day. aww how cute." but the reality is that everytime u see a heartshaped chocolate box or - believe it or not - heart shaped goat cheese (SERIOUSLY?) u truly feel like killing someone, and its usually the first happy couple u run into. I mean ur totally ruining the food there!?? Anyways.. both of us remember Valentine's Day as actually something fun in the UK and the US, when we were young and wrote cute letters to our friends and stuff, but in Finland it seems to only make people miserable. I mean no ones giving away free cupcakes with pink frosting or anything? And now ur thinking that "aww poor lonely gals, but hey maybe next year!" (cause thats kinda what were used to getting which ofc - to anyone with a brain - sounds completely retarded) but this is not about being single or not. if ur dating ur like "should i get him something? idk if hes gonna get me anything.. we havent really talked about it. maybe just some chocolate (which ofc is always good). we've only been going out for like a month. he did mention valentines day last week but idk if it really means anything or not? but what about that awkward moment when he blahblahblah..". It just usually hasnt been such a big deal here in Finland, but since every year it becomes more and more exaggerated, people dont know how to react. So it only stresses people out! Then we have the people whos boyfriends are abroad or in the army and theyre all miserable cause they miss them even more than they usually do. But heres the thing. We can handle all this. Other annoyed people just wishing for the day to be over. But OMFG when the jolly ones come along. "Me and my boyfriend go out EVERY valentine's day to like some place really nice , kinda expensive but he always pays for everything and then we get each other these amazing gifts and have this amazing valentines day sex in our amazing new pink matching underwear" I mean PLEASE?

Anywaysss , since ur reading our blog u probably dont have a life so (perhaps a fellow IB student?) u, too, are going to be miserable tomorrow. This is what we'll be eating:
-chocolate
-ben & jerry's
-mcdonalds (VB is gonna try to stay strong and NOT have a hamburger with meat in it but who knows what might happen.. i mean it is valentines day, horrible things may happen)
-heart shaped goat cheese. LOL jk but seriously we just havent quite gotten over this yet
-or anything else u feel like bringing over. But stick to this and u might just survive tomorrow. It'll be better on the 15th again. Before u kill urself, like our friend Sara planned on doing, just sleep on it.
Everythings gonna be alright.. Everythings gonna be ok.. La-la-la.. Still in the singing mood clearly.

But hey happy valentine's day y'all! <3

LOVE x 10000,
The Heart-shaped Bagels

ps thx a lot for making this a big deal at school too. we HAVE to wear pink to school tomorrow. i mean isnt it bad enough that we have to walk through sampokuja everyday which has been like covered with hearts since january 7th?! JUUUUUST GREAT.

FUGLYYYYY

Express your love for food through song!

So we all love food. We have established that about 12 blogposts ago. If you dont, then why are you reading this? YEAH SO ANYWAY SINCE we all love food..

why not express this undying love through lyrics?

So we all remember being children and singing about the meatball that dropped off your plate and rolled into the garden.. just me? WELL HERE ARE THE LYRICS IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME:

(It's called on top of spaghetti)

On top of spaghetti
     All covered with cheese,
     I lost my poor meatball,
     When somebody sneezed.
   
  It rolled off the table
     And onto the floor,
     And then my poor meatball
     Rolled out of the door.
  
   It rolled in the garden
     And under a bush,
     And then my poor meatball
     Was nothing but mush.
   
  The mush was as tasty
     As tasty could be,
     And then the next summer
     It grew into a tree.
   
  The tree was all covered,
     All covered with moss,
     And on it grew meatballs,
     And tomato sauce.


     So if you eat spaghetti
     All covered with cheese,
     Hold onto your meatball
     Lest somebody sneeze.


Fun eh? and heres a picture of a meatball to cheer you up!

kinda disturbing... WELL ANYWAY

Now that we are all grownups (HHAHAHAHA) here are a few of the bagels' favourite tunes that involve food:

50 cent - candy shop (SO AND TOTALLY KIDDING)

Snow Patrol - Chocolate

Fool's Garden - Lemon Tree

Aaron Carter - I want Candy (Candy is actually a girl here but... you can think of real candy while singing)

Kelis - Milkshake

Weezer - Pork and Beans

and you've all heard about Weird al Yankovic right? well he sings parodies of songs and he has a whole album devoted to food!! That why we bagels really adore him even though he looks like this

A few of our favorite parodies would be:

Girls just want to have lunch - Girls just wanna have fun

My bologna - My sharona

Eat it - Beat it

I love Rocky Road - I love Rock n Roll

Fat - Bad

So thats it for today, remember to SING!

xoxo

the shalalalala bagels!

lalala

lala

la...

Wanhat Tanssit - What's food got to do with it ?

Most students studying in Finnish high schools participate in a very traditional ball on their second year - Wanhat Tanssit ('The Old Dances'). It began as a celebration of becoming the oldest students in the school, when the abit - third year students, that is - leave the school to study for the finals. People used to actually wear old, kinda ugly stuff and have fun with it, but nowadays its really just an imitation of prom and a contest of who spends the most money on their hair. For girls, that is. Instead of bitching about the event tho, we're gonna be discussing all the connections between wanhat and food. 

Before the actual event, many girls have to constantly make sure that the dress they bought 6 months in advance still fits them, which forces them to constantly either diet or eat donuts until they feel like throwing up. The latter, of course is more desirable of the two, but equally more rare; most people buy a dress thats too small for them cause "im planning on losing enough weight so that its gonna fit". Dresses with zippers cause the most trouble cause they have to be just right. Some people choose to, as extreme as it does sound, leave chocolate completely out of their diets for the last few weeks in order to "minimize the risk of getting pimples". Others simply dont eat on the week of wanhat at all; even at the risk of fainting in the middle of WIIIIIENER waltz. 

Now when the day comes, there is a very high risk of being without food for a grand total of 6 hours, because some people arrive as early as 3 pm and dinner is not until 9 pm. So we are advised to bring some healthy, keep-me-thin snacks such as bananas and water. We're kinda planning on ordering chinese tho. (chinaman.com) They're gonna be selling buns and coffee during the intermission but heaven forbid if we have any; u really cant pee with the goddamn dress and that one bun might just make everything fall apart. After dancing for our parents, we head to a restaurant. 

The wanhat dinner I mentioned earlier (which as a concept of course is totally ridiculous because you are once again wearing the dress so actual eating is not going to take place) is another way to make this event ever-the-more rememberable for us. We get to pay a lot of money for a very high class, supreme, one might even say luxurious dinner; no, not a five course dinner but a buffet (eat as much as you like = guys, its all yours).

After this we head home, fall asleep and wake up in the morning, only to wear that dress again. This time we dance for the younger students and noone really gives a fuck anymore so everyone basically just wants to get it over and done with. Now, this is over at about 11 o'clock and this is when the weakest ones head to Tapiola for a pizza and some make-me-happy-chocolate. The ones that have gone absolutely crazy, however, continue the strive for perfection until the after party.

Now the after party itself is a whole new chapter, food wise. When people head home around 3-4 AM, there might be some angry phone calls made to 020202 or 118 asking for pizza. We bagels, however, have already thought this through and are planning on buying some frozen pizzas beforehand. 

Ahh so we really cant wait for all this to happen, and we hope u enjoyed reading this wanhat special.

Sincerely yours,

beygels (apparently thats how they used to spell it, back in the day)

ps. if fitting into ur dress really worries u, you can always do what CSB did; eat all u like, buy a corset and not breathe for one night